1. - How do you stop a dog from barking in the back of the back seat of a car? - Have him sit in front with you.
2. - What animals need to be oiled? -A: Mice do. They squeak.
3. - What kind of bird is like a car? - A goose is like a car. They both go honk.
4. – When is it bad luck to have a black cat follow you? - When you are a mouth.
5. – What is a good way to keep a dog off the street? - Put him in a barking lot.
6. – Why is it hard to talk with a goat around? - Because he always butts in.
7. – What hurts more than a giraffe with a sore throat? – A centipede with sore feet.
8. – What is grey, has ears, a long trunk, and weighs only three pounds? - A very,very,very thin elephant.
9. – What kind of pine has the sharpest needles? – A porcupine.
10. – Put three duck in a box. What do you have? – A box of quakers.
11. – Ten cats were in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left? - None of them. All the rest were copycats.
12. – Name six things smaller than the mouth of an ant? – Six of his teeth.
13. – What animal can carry the most on his back? – The snail. He carries his house on hiss back.
14. – What is the best way to catch fish? - Have some one throw it to you.
15. – What kind of animal eats with his tail? – All kinds of animals eat with tail. They can’t take them off.
16. – What is the best thing to put into a pie? - Your teeth.
17. – What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle? - The thing you fall on.
18. – What come all the way to a house, but never gets in? – The steps.
19. – Why did the little boy put ice in his father’s bed? – Because he liked cold pop.
20. – When is a boy not a boy? - When he turns into a store.
21. - Can you drop a full glass and spill no water? - Yes, when the glass is full of milk.
22. – What should you do when you see a big lion? - Hope the big lion doesn’t see you.
23. – Why does a giraffe eat so little? - Because a giraffe can make a little go a long way.
24. – What horse can fly like a bird? A horsefly.
25. – If your dog ate your book, what would you do? - I would take the words right out of his mouth.
26. – What has two heads, one tail, four legs on one side, and two legs on the other? - A horse with a lady riding sideways.
27. – Would you rather have an elephant chase you or a lion? - I would rather have the elephant chase the lion.
28. – Why does a humming bird hum? - Because he doesn’t know the words.
29. – What must you know before you teach a dog tricks? - More than the dog.
30. – What is better than a dog that can count? - A spelling bee.
31. – When did the fly fly? - When a spider spied her.
32. – Why don’t you put an ad in the paper when you’ve lost your dog? - Dogs can’t read.
33. – Which side of a hen has the most feathers? - The outside.
34. – What is the best way to get something out from under an elephant? - Wait for the elephant to go away.
35. – When will a net hold water? - When the water turns to ice.
36. – What is the best way to keep a skunk from smelling? - Hold his nose.
37. – Our hen can lay an egg for inches long. Can you beat that? - Yes, with an egg beater.
38. – What is the best way to make trousers last? - Make the coat first.
39. – Why did the little boy throw the clock out of the window? – Because he wanted to see time fly.
40. What kind of animal has a head like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat? - A kitten.
41. – What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? – Time to get a new fence.
42. – Why do birds fly south? - Because it is too far to walk.
43. – What is the last thing you take off when you go to bed? – You take your feet off the floor.
44. What kind of animals can jump higher than a house? – All kinds of animals. Houses cannot jump.
45. – What dog keeps the best time? - A watch dog.
46. – Why does a baby pig eat so much? - To make a hog of himself.
47. – Why does a hen lay eggs? - Because if she let them drop, they would break.
48. – Name 5 things that have milk in them. – Butter. Cheese. Ice Cream. And 2 cows.
49. – What is the best way to make a fire with 2 sticks? - Make sure one of the sticks is a match.
50. – What did the pig say when a man got him by the tail? - "This is the end of me."
51. – What kind of dog has no tail? - A hot dog.