Allan and Scott Roach lived with 178 cats that stank so badly of urine it was hard to breathe. (не понятно почему? Кошки ж ведь вроде чистоплотные животные!?!)
But finally, after two years, Allan Roach (таракан???) has made his first court appearance on 20 charges related to animal neglect. When officers got into the Roach's home two years ago, the air was so rank it made their eyes water (очевидно тронули котята ребят милиционеров до слёз).
Some of the cats were missing patches of hair, and some had eye infections or were missing eyeballs (хозяин любил коктейли в блендере делать наверное). One cat was so malnourished that its tongue stuck out even with its mouth closed (ну тут, конечно, ясно что котик был анорексиком или анорексичкой). Some cats were wrapped in tin foil in the freezer (а что? Как иначе их хранить?).
The case was turned over to the District Attorney, and charges were filed earlier this year after the case languished due to various bureaucratic missteps(в этом городе не только Аллан и Скот Тараканы кошечек любили). Allan Roach told the court last week that Scott Roach has died since the charges were filed. ('Нет больше брата! Кошки довели! А он ведь их так любил!'Аллан ') Their home has been torn down. (by a cat woman?)
Allan Roach faces a possible nine months behind bars on each of the 20 counts against him. He's due back in court Sept. 20.
Reading Comprehension Questions:
1. Allan and Scott Roach liked which animals:
a. cockroaches
b. in-laws, their referred to their in-laws as pets and kept them in their home for medical purposes
c. cats and dogs
d. cats and piranhas
e. cats
2. How would you best discribe the situation the animals found themselves in
a. It's like a paradise! So many pussies in here.
b. I do like this mountain resort!
c. A complete fuck-up.
d. ___________________________________________ (express your opinion in the comments below)
P.S. SEE Allan and Scott's favourite dish HERE Meow!
Showing posts with label Animals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Animals. Show all posts
Animal Riddles
Question/Answer
1. - How do you stop a dog from barking in the back of the back seat of a car? - Have him sit in front with you.
2. - What animals need to be oiled? -A: Mice do. They squeak.
3. - What kind of bird is like a car? - A goose is like a car. They both go honk.
4. – When is it bad luck to have a black cat follow you? - When you are a mouth.
5. – What is a good way to keep a dog off the street? - Put him in a barking lot.
6. – Why is it hard to talk with a goat around? - Because he always butts in.
7. – What hurts more than a giraffe with a sore throat? – A centipede with sore feet.
8. – What is grey, has ears, a long trunk, and weighs only three pounds? - A very,very,very thin elephant.
9. – What kind of pine has the sharpest needles? – A porcupine.
10. – Put three duck in a box. What do you have? – A box of quakers.
11. – Ten cats were in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left? - None of them. All the rest were copycats.
12. – Name six things smaller than the mouth of an ant? – Six of his teeth.
13. – What animal can carry the most on his back? – The snail. He carries his house on hiss back.
14. – What is the best way to catch fish? - Have some one throw it to you.
15. – What kind of animal eats with his tail? – All kinds of animals eat with tail. They can’t take them off.
16. – What is the best thing to put into a pie? - Your teeth.
17. – What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle? - The thing you fall on.
18. – What come all the way to a house, but never gets in? – The steps.
19. – Why did the little boy put ice in his father’s bed? – Because he liked cold pop.
20. – When is a boy not a boy? - When he turns into a store.
21. - Can you drop a full glass and spill no water? - Yes, when the glass is full of milk.
22. – What should you do when you see a big lion? - Hope the big lion doesn’t see you.
23. – Why does a giraffe eat so little? - Because a giraffe can make a little go a long way.
24. – What horse can fly like a bird? A horsefly.
25. – If your dog ate your book, what would you do? - I would take the words right out of his mouth.
26. – What has two heads, one tail, four legs on one side, and two legs on the other? - A horse with a lady riding sideways.
27. – Would you rather have an elephant chase you or a lion? - I would rather have the elephant chase the lion.
28. – Why does a humming bird hum? - Because he doesn’t know the words.
29. – What must you know before you teach a dog tricks? - More than the dog.
30. – What is better than a dog that can count? - A spelling bee.
31. – When did the fly fly? - When a spider spied her.
32. – Why don’t you put an ad in the paper when you’ve lost your dog? - Dogs can’t read.
33. – Which side of a hen has the most feathers? - The outside.
34. – What is the best way to get something out from under an elephant? - Wait for the elephant to go away.
35. – When will a net hold water? - When the water turns to ice.
36. – What is the best way to keep a skunk from smelling? - Hold his nose.
37. – Our hen can lay an egg for inches long. Can you beat that? - Yes, with an egg beater.
38. – What is the best way to make trousers last? - Make the coat first.
39. – Why did the little boy throw the clock out of the window? – Because he wanted to see time fly.
40. What kind of animal has a head like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat? - A kitten.
41. – What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? – Time to get a new fence.
42. – Why do birds fly south? - Because it is too far to walk.
43. – What is the last thing you take off when you go to bed? – You take your feet off the floor.
44. What kind of animals can jump higher than a house? – All kinds of animals. Houses cannot jump.
45. – What dog keeps the best time? - A watch dog.
46. – Why does a baby pig eat so much? - To make a hog of himself.
47. – Why does a hen lay eggs? - Because if she let them drop, they would break.
48. – Name 5 things that have milk in them. – Butter. Cheese. Ice Cream. And 2 cows.
49. – What is the best way to make a fire with 2 sticks? - Make sure one of the sticks is a match.
50. – What did the pig say when a man got him by the tail? - "This is the end of me."
51. – What kind of dog has no tail? - A hot dog.
1. - How do you stop a dog from barking in the back of the back seat of a car? - Have him sit in front with you.
2. - What animals need to be oiled? -A: Mice do. They squeak.
3. - What kind of bird is like a car? - A goose is like a car. They both go honk.
4. – When is it bad luck to have a black cat follow you? - When you are a mouth.
5. – What is a good way to keep a dog off the street? - Put him in a barking lot.
6. – Why is it hard to talk with a goat around? - Because he always butts in.
7. – What hurts more than a giraffe with a sore throat? – A centipede with sore feet.
8. – What is grey, has ears, a long trunk, and weighs only three pounds? - A very,very,very thin elephant.
9. – What kind of pine has the sharpest needles? – A porcupine.
10. – Put three duck in a box. What do you have? – A box of quakers.
11. – Ten cats were in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left? - None of them. All the rest were copycats.
12. – Name six things smaller than the mouth of an ant? – Six of his teeth.
13. – What animal can carry the most on his back? – The snail. He carries his house on hiss back.
14. – What is the best way to catch fish? - Have some one throw it to you.
15. – What kind of animal eats with his tail? – All kinds of animals eat with tail. They can’t take them off.
16. – What is the best thing to put into a pie? - Your teeth.
17. – What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle? - The thing you fall on.
18. – What come all the way to a house, but never gets in? – The steps.
19. – Why did the little boy put ice in his father’s bed? – Because he liked cold pop.
20. – When is a boy not a boy? - When he turns into a store.
21. - Can you drop a full glass and spill no water? - Yes, when the glass is full of milk.
22. – What should you do when you see a big lion? - Hope the big lion doesn’t see you.
23. – Why does a giraffe eat so little? - Because a giraffe can make a little go a long way.
24. – What horse can fly like a bird? A horsefly.
25. – If your dog ate your book, what would you do? - I would take the words right out of his mouth.
26. – What has two heads, one tail, four legs on one side, and two legs on the other? - A horse with a lady riding sideways.
27. – Would you rather have an elephant chase you or a lion? - I would rather have the elephant chase the lion.
28. – Why does a humming bird hum? - Because he doesn’t know the words.
29. – What must you know before you teach a dog tricks? - More than the dog.
30. – What is better than a dog that can count? - A spelling bee.
31. – When did the fly fly? - When a spider spied her.
32. – Why don’t you put an ad in the paper when you’ve lost your dog? - Dogs can’t read.
33. – Which side of a hen has the most feathers? - The outside.
34. – What is the best way to get something out from under an elephant? - Wait for the elephant to go away.
35. – When will a net hold water? - When the water turns to ice.
36. – What is the best way to keep a skunk from smelling? - Hold his nose.
37. – Our hen can lay an egg for inches long. Can you beat that? - Yes, with an egg beater.
38. – What is the best way to make trousers last? - Make the coat first.
39. – Why did the little boy throw the clock out of the window? – Because he wanted to see time fly.
40. What kind of animal has a head like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat? - A kitten.
41. – What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? – Time to get a new fence.
42. – Why do birds fly south? - Because it is too far to walk.
43. – What is the last thing you take off when you go to bed? – You take your feet off the floor.
44. What kind of animals can jump higher than a house? – All kinds of animals. Houses cannot jump.
45. – What dog keeps the best time? - A watch dog.
46. – Why does a baby pig eat so much? - To make a hog of himself.
47. – Why does a hen lay eggs? - Because if she let them drop, they would break.
48. – Name 5 things that have milk in them. – Butter. Cheese. Ice Cream. And 2 cows.
49. – What is the best way to make a fire with 2 sticks? - Make sure one of the sticks is a match.
50. – What did the pig say when a man got him by the tail? - "This is the end of me."
51. – What kind of dog has no tail? - A hot dog.
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