Poetry

Hair I'd rather have fingers than toes; I'd rather have ears than a nose; But as for my hair I'm glad it's still there. I'll be awfully sad when it goes. Crazy World The world has gone whirling in circles, The cat has gone chasing its tail, The police are arresting policemen, And locking each other in jail. The Ant The ant has made himself illustrious Through constant industry industrious So what? Would you be calm and placid, If you were full of formic acid? Conviction vs. Prejudice We might as well give up the fiction That we can argue any view For what in me is pure conviction Is simple prejudice in you. Suicidal Resume Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp; Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful You might as well live. Parents? What for? Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore And that's what parents were created for. Kids Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore ... And that's what parents were created for. To keep your marriage brimming With love in the loving cup Whenever you are wrong admit it, Whenever you are right shut up. Epitaphs #1 He'd have the best, and that was none too good; No barrier could hold before his terms. He lies below, correct in cypress wood And entertains the most exclusive worms. #2 Her name, cut clear upon this marble cross Shines as it shone when she was still on earth; While tenderly the wild, agreeable moss Obscures the figures of her date of birth. #3 To a Beloved One To follow you I'm not content. How do I know which way you went? #4 Here lies my wife. Here let her lie. Now she's at rest And so am I. #5 This spot is the sweetest I've seen in my life For it raises my flowers and covers my wife. #6 Life is jest, and all things show it I thought so once, but now I know it. #7 [by Robert Burns] Here lies with Death old Grizel Grim Lincluden's ugly witch. O Death! how horrid is thy taste To lie with such a bitch. #7 ... And I lie here warm, and I lie here dry And watch the worms slip by, slip by.

Alex Pup: while still breathing ...