Best of Little Willies

I first came across Little Willies a couple of years ago while trying to find if there were any English correspondencies to Russian "sadisctic verses" also known as "strashilki", or "sadooshky". Since then I've often resorted to some of them in my Drama Club Classes to entertain students a bit. Amazingly, they memorise them quickly, even quicker than grammar patterns. It only goes to show that we all are sick. Sometimes, Willies can come in particularly handy like in the cases when you teach or pre-teach Past Simple. (о Past Simple более подробно --- ---- About Past Simple in greater detail. )
Willie poisoned his father's tea;
Father died in agony.
Mother came, and looked quite vexed:
"Really, Will," she said, "what next?!"
Willie's on the railroad track
The engine gave a squeal.
The engineer just took a spade,
And scraped him off the wheel.
Willie, in a rage insane
Threw his head beneath a train
All were quite surprised to find
How it broadened Willie's mind.
Little Willie, mean as hell
Threw his sister in the well
Mama said, when drawing water,
"Gee, it's hard to raise a daughter."
Little Willie on his bike
Through the village took a hike.
Mrs. Thompson blocked the walk;
She will live, but still can't talk.
Willie fell down the elevator,
Wasn't found 'till six days later.
Then the neighbors sniffed, "Gee whiz!
What a spoiled child Willie is!"
Willie saw some dynamite,
Couldn't understand it quite;
Curiosity never pays.
It rained Willie seven days.
Willie was a Chemist,
But Willie is no more,
What Willie thought was H20
Was H2SO4.

Willie, with a thirst for gore,
Nailed his sister to the door.
Mother said, with humor quaint:
"Now Willie dear,
don't scratch the paint!"

Cathy had a little car
And it was painted red.
And everywhere that Cathy went
The cops picked up the dead!!

1. Billy in one of his new sashes
Fell in the fire and burnt to ashes;
Now, although the room grows chilly
I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy

2. Father heard his children scream,
So he threw them in the stream,
Saying , as he drowned the third
Children should be seen not heard.

3. Into the family drinkin well
Willie pushed his sister Nell
She's there yet the water kill't her.
Now we have to use a filter.

4. Willie split the baby's head
To see if brains were gray or red.
Mother, troubled, said to father,
'children' are an awful bother.

5. Little Willie hung his sister
She was dead before we missed her
Willie's always up to tricks
Ain't he cute? He's only six.

3. Late at night i slew my wife,
Streached her on the parquet flooring
I was loath to take her life,
But i had to stop her snoring.

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