Notorious English humour

Notorious English humour: "If at first you don`t succeed,give up,no use looking like a fool.
You can only live once,but if you do it right,once is enough.
Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly,and for the same reason.
Quando omni flunkus moritati – when all else fails, play dead.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
A bit of hard work never killed anyone – but why risk it?
The journey of thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
How long the minute is depends on which side of the toilet door you are."