19 Instructions That Sound Dirty But Aren't

19 Instructions That Sound Dirty But Aren't:
"Screw Tightly. Add lubricant if needed.
Be very sure to have a good grip before starting the exercise
Insert tab A into slot B
Not to be taken orally
If not at desired height, try another slot.
Insert batteries then twist end to turn on.
Beat until stiff (eggs)
Plug may become warm during charging, this is normal.
pucker and blow (instructions for whistling)
Be careful not to puncture the nipple
Place your head between your legs
Take your longest wood and get a strong grip on the shaft.
Discontinue use if discomfort starts to occur
Objects may appear larger then they appear
For repairs under warranty, contact the Representative servicing you
I'm glad that you are behind me on this.
If it doesn't fit hit it SOFTLY
Stand with your feet hip distance apart
Take out of packaging then insert into opening"


  1. Let me bring it to the round number adding Point 20:

    "Provided that you totally enjoy the whole process - ignore all the previous instructions and have it your own way!"

  2. You have a point here, Irene. I believe you mean masturbation?