Some Black Humour For This Beautiful Sunny Day

A seven year-old turns up in his classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher:
Teacher: Morning Tommy, and why weren't you at school yesterday?
Tommy: Well Miss, my Grandad got burnt.
Teacher: Oh Dear, he wasn't too badly hurt I hope?
Tommy: Oh yes Miss, they don't fuck around at those crematoriums.

# # #
- What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
- There is no difference: the both are the best when they cold on table.
* * *
- Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the yard?
- Shut up, and give me more bullets.

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