-you are asleep, but others worry that you are dead,
-your back goes out more than you do,
-you quit trying to hold in your stomach, no matter who walks into the room,
-the only reason you are still awake at 4 a.m. is indigestion,
-people ask what color your hair used to be,
-you cannot sleep if the house is a mess,
-you give up hoping, you will get carded in liquor store,
-an old lady offers you her seat on the bus,
-you have owned clothes for so long that they have come back into style...twice,
-8a.m. is your idea of "sleeping in",
-you cannot climb a tree...even with a ladder,
-your bathing suit has sleeves,
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