Issue 1 – Spoonerism

(Taken from the Exile solely for educational purposes)
Read the article paying attention to the highlighted words [the words with the translation in brackets.] Answer the questions that follow it and do the tasks suggested.

Task 1. Try to memorize the words and word combinations below the article.
Sometimes there's a murder so twisted that it defies comparison. The following account of a man spooned to death in front of his family is one of those murders without precedent. The story begins in the Mayorov's apartment in the Kollinsky region after the husband and wife returned home from celebrating an anniversary or some such occasion. There was some drinking involved, and by the time they got back the husband was close to passing out. He crashed on the living room couch but could get no peace. In the kitchen, his 17-year-old daughter Lida was hanging out with two classmates, Andrei Sanzhara and Kostya Ivanichenko and making a racket. The trio was shooting up and showing no sign of slowing down when the drunken father finally decided to put an end to it. He hauled his ass off of the couch and bitched out his daughter's guests. He was, but still managed to get his point across. They didn't have the desired effect, though. After he returned to the couch, the two boys started to contemplate revenge.

Kostya grabbed a foot long wooden spoon and started menacingly beating it against his palm. Andrei figured a beating with a wooden spoon was a bit pedestrian, though. He decided it would be more entertaining to stick the spoon up his ass. He grabbed the spoon and went to the other room. Lida asked Andrei to restrain himself, saying not to do it because her dad "would start cursing." But Andrei was inspired. By now Lida's mother and younger brother were also trying to change Andrei's mind, to no avail. He pulled off the unconscious Mayorov's pants and plunged the spoon all the way up his ass. "Sweet," he commented. "That went well. He'll wake up with a spoon in his ass!" And indeed, he did, wake up with a spoon up his ass, that is. He was so wasted (= drunken), however, that he couldn't make it to the bathroom for almost a quarter hour, and only then did he finally remove it. Then he fell right back asleep on the couch.

The next day he started suffering from severe internal pain; the foot long spoon had ripped up his intestines and other
organs. .He checked into a hospital, but he was doomed to a slow, painful death. Four days after the anal encounter, he died from his injuries. Both Andrei and Kostya have been detained, and Andrei confessed his crime. He's looking at 7 years, where he will no doubt become acquainted with all sorts of anally inserts.

2. Find the English equivalents for the following. Plus make up sentences of your own using the highlighted vocabulary.

Изощрённый,не поддаваться сравнению,прецедент,мероприятие, имела место выпивка, терять сознание ("отрубаться"), рухнуть на, не мог успокоиться, “зависала с”, "шуметь", троица зажигала по полной, положить конец чему-л., стащить, отругать, говорить невнятно, донести мысль до, не возыметь должного эффекта, замышлять план мести, грозно (угрожающе), неинтересный (прозаичный), сдерживать себя, быть вдохновлённым, "жраный",вытащить, кишечник, обратился в больницу, умереть от, признаться в совершении преступления, познакомиться с, вставка.

Reading Comprehension (Multiple Choice)

1. According to the article:
the spoon was plunged all the way up the man’s throat
the spoon was plunged all the way up the man’s ass
the spoon was plunged all the way up the man’s ear
2. What do you think the father's feelings were when he found he had been injured?
It didn't hurt him to be the victim. So he was happy.
He was depressed because he realized he had been wronged.
He felt little. He died soon afterwards.

Vocabulary Extension. (Working with a dictionary)
When do we say "die of" and "die from"?

Questions for discussion

What is spoonerism?
Why is the article so entitled?
When did the accident happen?
Were the characters sober?
Why was the father angry?
How did the bad guys kill the father and where did he go to before death?
Would you like to die such a death? If not, why?

Find the following excert in the text:

Kostya захватил деревянную ложку один фут длиной и начал угрожающе бить ее против его пальмы. Andrei полагал, что избиение с деревянной ложкой было небольшим количеством пешехода, все же. Он решил, что это будет более интересно, чтобы прикрепить ложку его задница. Он захватил ложку и пошел в другую комнату. Lida попросила, чтобы Andrei ограничил себя, говоря, чтобы не сделать это, потому что ее папа "начнет проклинать."

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