How do you stop a baby from looking up at you with that cute little baby face and gurgling happily with that little baby mouth and waving at you with those little baby fingers and little baby toes?
Gouge its eyes out.
What is better than a dead baby?
The revoked child support
Whats the difference between a dead baby and a rock?
You cant fuck a rock!
What is harder than nailing a dead baby to a fence?
My erection while I am doing it.
What is the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
I do not have a Cadillac in my garage…
Why during birth the husband is always sent to boil water?
Because then if the baby dies, a soup can be made.
Why do you insert a baby in the mixer legs-first?
Because you must see his grimacing face!
What has four legs and one arm?
A Doberman in a kindergarten.
A woman gave birth to a child
She is still quite dazed. when she sees the doctor grab the baby by the neck, shake him and yell:
"Where is the money?!"
Then the doctor drops the baby to the floor and starts kicking him.
The woman pleads: "Doctor! What are you doing?!"
"Oh, do not worry!" - answers the doctor - "I am just joking. Your son was born dead"
- Grandson, let’s play! I will try to guess where you hid my dentures, and you will only answer hot or cold.
- O.K. grandpa!
- In your bedroom?
- In the corridor?
- Getting hotter…
- In the toilet?
- Near the water closet?
- Quite hot now!
- In the valve tank?
- Very hot!!! Alright grandpa, I will show you myself, just release me from the oven!
- Mom, can I play with grandma?
- Yes dear, but remember to return the bones to the coffin.
What is the difference between dead babies and sand?
You can not pile sand with a pitchfork.
(русский вариант : Что легче разгрузить: вагон гранита или вагон мертвых младенцев? - Мертвых младенцев. Они хорошо на вилы накалываются.)
What is funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
My Fav Baby Jokes