Everyday Normal Guy - Funeral Sounds

Taking into consideration that, in all probability, I will be dead during my funeral, I'd like this song to be performed in the past tense by a choir of teenage boys.
Anyways, here's the grammar activity to this song:
Figure out where to fit in these sh"" "a, an, the", mother fu***!

I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
Nothing special about me Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
When I go to ___ clubs I wait in line Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
I got 600 dollars In ___ bank Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
And my sexual performances are average

I work at customer service for _ phone company
I make 12 bucks __ hour but that's all I need
I live in _ small apartment on _ quiet street
I don't go out too much I like to watch TV
I can't afford _ car I use public transportation
I don't mind I read 'til I reach my destination
sometimes _ newspaper, sometimes _ book
___ amount of money I save this shit is off ___ hook
And i am not very good with ___ women
I'm _ pretty shy person and I'm average looking last time I had sex was in 2003
and I am ashamed to admit but it wasn't free
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
I get nervous in social situations Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
I get constipated once _ month Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
And i make pretty good spaghetti sauce Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
and I get scared when I go see ___ dentist
I'm ___ "Pauly Shore" of everyday life
easily forgettable and I am not very liked
I have __ "According to Jim" personality
I'm as entertaining as _ fucking STD
if you wanna mess with me I think you probably can
because I am not confident and i am weak for _ man
Ill just roll up in _ ball while you kick me in ___ back, yeah
honestly I probably wont fight back
And I don't have many friends that would back me up
My friend Steve would but he doesn't look very tough
You want some of this bitch?
If you rarely get laid put your hands up
If you're not well paid put your hands up
If you got _ pet cat put your hands up
and if you got _ bad back put your hands up
I hurt my back two summers ago moving _ fridge and ever since then it's just not ___ same... you know it... it gets... It gets pretty sore

I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
My parents are really nice people Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
I am somewhat afraid of heights Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
I like ___ show "'"Grey's Anatomy" Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
and I am pretty good at making paper planes
I could do this all day... I could do this all day... I could do this all day...

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