Test Results

A man is in Hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles "are my testicles black?"
The nurse raises his gown, holds his cock in one hand and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them sir."
Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely but listen very very carefully ... Are-my-test-results-back?!"

Bit of a bummer

A German pensioner is suing a hospital after she checked in for an operation on her leg - and woke up to find she had been given a new anus.

The clinic in Hochfranken in Bavaria has suspended the surgical team concerned after they apparently mixed up the notes for two patients.
The woman complainant was expecting an operation on her leg, while another patient, suffering from incontinence, was scheduled for surgery on her sphincter.

 

The woman, who still needs to have the leg operation, is planning to sue the hospital and is looking around for another hospital to carry out the work.

Broken Anus

SHOCKED surgeons were forced to use their imagination after operating on woman with a huge can of hairspray stuck in her bum.

Mirela Gradinaru, 37, arrived at the clinic in Arad, western Romania, in agony, begging docs to help.
But she refused to tell surgeons how the can came to be lodged in her rear even after a successful operation dislodged the canister.

‘ This was not just a little can of deodorant, this was a massive can of hairspray ’
Mirandolina Prisca, a doctor at the clinic, explained: "We had X-rays done to localise the object and then we carried out the operation. The patient was fine after it.
"She was very embarrassed. She was clearly in a lot of pain, however it got there."
"This was not just a little can of deodorant, this was a massive can of hairspray," said one hospital worker.
And perhaps unsurprisingly the docs never got to the bottom of this medical mystery!