Would you be able to forgive?

More on the subject: http://www.kinopoisk.ru/level/1/film/77859/

Ten Things Men Find Too Sexy

Ten Things Men Find Too Sexy: "

Men think about sex, and they think about sex a lot, so you might be amazed that something would be too sexy for a guy, but there are at least ten things that I think you may agree are too sexy, here they are.

Guys find it sexy when a girl is into the same things as him, such as a sports team, or horror flicks. What could be better than sharing a favorite past time together? Guys find it too sexy when the girl starts looking like his favorite teams best player or the killer in a horror flick. If she looks like a quarter back or an axe murderer, its not hot.

Men love models. Men fantasize about being with a woman who is a model. Models are always hot, am I not right?

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Quentin_Massys_008.jpg

Guys find it attractive when a woman isn’t afraid to get dirty. It shows that she isn’t going to be a demanding little princess type. Guys find it scary when the woman doesn’t look like she has taken a bath for months. And before you say anything about the picture not being great, you just try to look up “dirty girl picture” and see how easy it is.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Barefoot_in_Berlin.JPG

Guys find it sexy when a girl works and spends some of her own money. It makes him happy to see her get the things she loves and wants. Guys find it too sexy when she spends all of her own money, his money, and money they don’t even have. Also, and please note: Just because you can buy anything you want, does not mean you should.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lizhenry/3363028843/

Men find a damsel in distress a bit of a turn on. It gives him a chance to be a hero for a change. Men find it concerning when the same damsel is in distress all of the time. Well okay we might rescue her a few times before we clued in but I am sure eventually we would clue in. Eventually. Maybe.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/garydenness/2845530233/

Men find it kinda sexy watching a girl shave her legs. S l o w l y… with toes pointed, in the shower, water dripping off her. Not so sexy when she has to shave her face though.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jennifer_Miller_Bearded_Lady_by_David_Shankbone.jpg

Guys get turned on by a little girl on girl action or cat fight. You know what I mean. Guys do not really get too many thrills by watching actual cats fight, well hopefully not anyhow.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ecaille07.jpg

Guys find it sexy when a chick asks their opinion on something like which car to buy or what computer to get. Since women always think they know best, it is hot when they throw us a crumb or two. Guys really don’t like it when a chick tells them how to do something, like change a tire, or fix a computer. And if the chick is a chicken telling a guy how to fix the computer, well that’s just wrong.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/alishav/3619318320/

Guys find it sexy when a girl cooks, or does house work in the nude. Can’t think of anything too sexy here. Doing dishes naked, vacuuming naked, mowing the lawn naked, whatever, guys are pretty cool with it.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Blue_vacuum_cleaner.svg

Guys love seeing some skin. A little tease is wonderful. Careful that you don’t show too much as in the photo below, the one one the left is showing a bit too much skin and has dangerously entered the world of being too sexy.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/leekelleher/200975138/

One tip to any girl wanting to appear sexy, it helps to stand next to somebody larger than yourself.

Other Reading for Your Enjoyment

What do Women Find Sexy

Songs for Lovemaking

I wonder ...

if this post shows you who I am ...
It's so nice when your country gets a fair mention on one of your favourite TEFL blogs. ;)
and this is what I'll end up like if I don't quit drinking.

Let's call it ... natural education

To think how perverted a human mind can be!

Add Zombies

* "Gone With the Zombie"
Scarlett O'Hara turns into a zombie and starts munching on Rhett Butler's brain. Do you give a damn NOW, Rhett?

* "Moldy Dick"
Call me Fishmeal. In the whale's stomach, zombie Ahab reunites with his missing leg and kicks some whale tail!

* William Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Braaaaaaaiiins!"

* "Don Quixote of the Dead"
The addled old gentleman roams the countryside tilting at zombies.

* "Walking Death of a Salesman"
Run, Biff, run!

* "A Farewell to Arms (and Legs and Torsos and...)"

* "Wuthering Bites"
Gore on the moor.

* "The Importance of Beating Ernest ... and Eating His Brain"

* Dickens' "Gray Expectorations"
Chapter 1: Wherein I am born, suffer grievously and die, come back to life and meet a fine gentleman, who tastes delicious

* "Brain Eyre"

* "They Ate Gatsby"

* Salinger's "Franny and Zombie"

* "Bride's Head Revisited"

* Tolstoy's "Anna Crania"

* "Lady Chatterly's Medulla"

* "Cerebellum, Plain and Tall"

* "Breakfast of Tiffanys"
Some of the less-successful offerings:

Body and Clyde
Woman props up dead boyfriend in car to use carpool lane.

A Hard Day's Fright
The dawning of really scary hairdos

It's A Wonderful After Life
Man wishes he was never born, meets angel, likes the whole wings-and-clouds thing, stays.

The Man-chewing Candidate
He does it HIS way.

Shakespeare in My Lobe
The Ultimate Cure for writer's block.

Hearse Driver
Are you lookin' at me?

Singin' in the Brain
Song gets stuck in head for all eternity.

S.T. the SubTerrestrial
I need to bury this one deep in the list.

oregonlive.com

Sense of Humor

‘THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL HUMAN QUALITIES IS A SENSE OF HUMOUR’
Biologically, there is only one quality which distinguishes us from animals: the ability to laugh. In a universe which appears to be utterly devoid of humour, we enjoy this supreme luxury. And it is a luxury, for unlike any other bodily process, laughter does not seem to serve a biologically useful purpose. In a divided world, laughter is a unifying force. Human beings oppose each other on a great many issues. Nations may disagree about systems of government and human relations may be plagued by ideological factions and political camps, but we all share the ability to laugh. And laughter, in turn, depends on that most complex and subtle of all human qualities: a sense of humour.

Certain comic stereotypes have a universal appeal. This can best be seen from the world-wide popularity of Charlie Chaplin’s early films. The little man at odds with society never fails to amuse no matter which country we come from. As that great commentator on human affairs, Dr Samuel Johnson, once remarked, ‘Men have been wise in very different modes; but they have always laughed in the same way.’

A sense of humour may take various forms and laughter may be anything from a refined tinkle to an earthquaking roar, but the effect is always the same. Humour helps us to maintain a correct sense of values. It is the one quality which political fanatics appear to lack. If we can see the funny side, we never make the mistake of taking ourselves too seriously. We are always reminded that tragedy is not really far removed from comedy, so we never get a lop-sided view of things.
This is one of the chief functions of satire and irony. Human pain and suffering are so grim; we hover so often on the brink of war; political realities are usually enough to plunge us into total despair. In such cicumstances, cartoons and satirical accounts of sombre political events redress the balance. They take the wind out of pompous and arrogant politicians who have lost their sense of proportion. They enable us to see that many of our most profound actions are merely comic or absurd. We laugh when a great satirist like Swift writes about war in Gulliver’s Travels. The Lilliputians and their neighbours attack each other because they can’t agree which end to break an egg. We laugh because we are meant to laugh; but we are meant to weep too. It is no wonder that in totalitarian regimes any satire against the Establishment is wholly banned. It is too powerful a weapon to be allowed to flourish.
The sense of humour must be singled out as man’s most important quality because it is associated with laughter. And laughter, in turn, is associated with happiness. Courage, determination, initiative - these are qualities we share with other forms of life. But the sense of humour is uniquely human. If happiness is one of the great goals of life, then it is the sense of humour that provides the key.

Stupid Kids

A Chinese couple are distraught after their three year old daughter threw their savings out of the window of their 17th floor flat.
The little girl threw the equivalent of £700 out of the window of their rented apartment in Shenzen while her parents were asleep.
"When I woke up, she wasn't beside me, and my purse was on the bed, open, and with a thick wad of money missing," said the mother, Mrs. Huang.
Mrs Huang says she immediately asked her daughter what had happened, but the girl said she didn't know.
"I looked everywhere, then I noticed there were two notes on the windowsill, and another two on the window sill one floor down," she added.
The owner of a restaurant on the first floor of the building told her that money had been raining down on to the street, and that passers-by had gone crazy trying to catch it.
Mrs Huang said she spent the whole day in tears as £400 of the money had belonged to other people.
"We're now hoping for magic, and that the people with our money will bring it back," she said.
The parents have now installed wire mesh on all of their windows, reports Southern Metropolis News.

Man attends his wake

A man held his wake early so he could celebrate with mourners.

 

John Noble, 52, was given months to live after doctors diagnosed him with motor neurone disease.
He invited 120 family and friends to a party near his Bristol home reports The Sun.
John said: "It was a cracking night. Everyone had a great time and I was glad I could say goodbye while I'm alive. It wasn't sad at all."

Bit of a bummer

A German pensioner is suing a hospital after she checked in for an operation on her leg - and woke up to find she had been given a new anus.

The clinic in Hochfranken in Bavaria has suspended the surgical team concerned after they apparently mixed up the notes for two patients.
The woman complainant was expecting an operation on her leg, while another patient, suffering from incontinence, was scheduled for surgery on her sphincter.

 

The woman, who still needs to have the leg operation, is planning to sue the hospital and is looking around for another hospital to carry out the work.

Breasts, breasts, breasts

A Chinese woman forced her boyfriend to have breast-reduction surgery because his man boobs made her look flat.
Xiao Feng, of Chongqing, threatened to break up with Zhang Jianguo unless he underwent surgery.

Zhang, who is 5ft 7ins tall and weighs 15 stone, explained: "She said that whenever we went out, she felt embarrassed because my breasts were eye-catching compared to hers."
Doctors at the First Affiliated Hospital of Chongqing Medical University sucked out more than 200ml of fat and tissue from his breasts.

Bon Apettitttt

Two Russian men, one of them a butcher, have been arrested on suspicion of killing, cooking and eating a 16-year-old girl in St Petersburg.

Prosecutors said that the girl disappeared while on her way to school on Jan 19. She was killed that night and then body parts believed to be hers were later found in plastic bags scattered around the city.

Police arrested Yuri Mozhnov, a florist, and Maxim Golovatskhikh, a street-market butcher and one-time psychiatric patient. Prosecutors believe they drowned the girl in a bathtub, cut her body into pieces and ate some of her internal organs in an act of cannibalism.

"The arrestees said they ate the girl's body parts because they were hungry," said Sergei Kapitonov, a spokesman for the city's prosecutors.

He said that the accused told investigators that they baked some of her insides with potatoes in a stove, he said.

They allegedly then bagged up her remains and disposed of them. He said that both men are being held on suspicion of murder.

The suspects, both 19, knew the victim, and she accompanied them voluntarily to an apartment rented by another acquaintance on the day she went missing, Mr Kapitonov said.

They were arrested on Saturday, a day after plastic bags - one containing a girl's head and others holding other body parts - were found in at least two separate locations.

The St Petersburg news website fontanka.ru cited a top city prosecutor, Andrei Lavrenko, as saying investigators believe the suspects decided to kill the victim after an argument erupted between the girl and Mr Golovatskikh.

Lawyer regrets obituary prank

A US lawyer who placed an obituary notice about his friend as an April Fools' Day joke has admitted it was an "immature mistake".
Peter Segall, a public relations executive and lawyer, placed the notice about former US ambassador Edward Gabriel in the Washington Post.
The gushing tribute appeared with a photograph of Mr Gabriel who was US ambassador to Morocco from 1997 to 2001.
"Though I no longer have you as my partner, this day will always be OUR anniversary... I could never quit you," the ad read.
Mr Segall, who has since paid for a retraction in the newspaper, described himself as a mature man who made an immature mistake.
"I engaged in a very stupid and ultimately cruel April Fools' joke against a man that has been my best friend for 30 years, and I deeply, deeply regret it," he told the Washington Post.
Mr Gabriel said he fielded calls all day from friends who thought he had died. One woman told him she spent two hours crying after seeing the ad.
"He's an old friend who plays jokes on me every year, and some are hilarious, but they've been private," he said.
"He's a good friend who went a little too far. He's apologised profusely, and I've accepted it, but not without being a little hurt. I think - I know - he had no ill intent."

Жесть

Q: Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again?
A: Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer infested.

Finger Lass

A Canadian man's refusal to pay a prostitute for her services resulted in him losing part of his finger after the prostitute bit it off. A struggled ensued and the man ran off, but left crucial evidence at the scene, namely his company car. "It was a company truck with the big name and phone number on the side, so that helped -- our investigators are pretty smart," Police said. The man went to the hospital to try and have part of his finger reattached.

Virgin on the ridiculous

A Romanian fed up with neighbours' gossip has been to a gynaecologist to prove she is still a virgin at the age of 60.
Rodica Trandafir, 60, from Bacau county in eastern Romania, posted the results of her virginity test to neighbours to stop rumours in her hometown.

She told local media: "I'd had enough of locals gossiping - they said men kept coming to my house at all times of the day and night."
She has now visited a gynaecologist who confirmed she was a virgin and gave her a certificate to prove it - which she then posted it to all her neighbours. She added: "There has been some nasty gossip about me. The men my neighbours are talking about are relatives who are helping me do some work on my house.
"To make such accusations about a woman of my age is disgusting. I hope now they will all shut up. To claim I am a loose woman of any kind is outrageous."

Victim offers robber a cuppa

A Czech man abandoned an armed robbery after a shop assistant invited him for a "nice cup of tea and a piece of cake".
He had pulled out a gun to demand money from Marketa Vachova, 59, at the supermarket in Cesky Tesin in the northern Czech Republic.
But, even though his face was hidden by a Spiderman mask, Marketa decided the robber "seemed like a nice young man".
She said: "I asked him why he was doing this and we got talking. There was no one else in the shop so I guess he relaxed a bit, and in the end he apologised.
"I said if he wanted he could come and talk to me and have a cup of tea and slice of home made cake to talk about his problems. He agreed and then walked off."
Police are searching for the man who faces ten years in prison for attempted armed robbery.

Rob Professionally

At a Kmart in Chesterton, Ind., a woman suspected of shoplifting was stopped in the parking lot by police, who dumped out her purse and found two dental kits, a bottle of cologne, one toy car, 12 packs of Ponds Facial Strips, a bottle of antifungal cream, two fingernail kits and two bottles of foundation primer that were stolen from the store. When asked if she had taken anything else, the woman replied "no," but when informed that she would be patted down by the officer, the woman unbuttoned her pants and pulled out 10 DVDs, a Play Station video game, a pair of white tube socks, a black and red bra, a pair of women's underwear with the word "pouty" printed on them, three pairs of boys underwear and two women's rings.

Dumb

Today's bonehead award goes to Linda Stewart 39 of Columbia Tennessee. This story was reported by the Associated Press today.
Stewart's husband, of just 2 months, fell asleep in bed the night before with a lit cigarette which left a burn hole in the bed. If she hadn't caught it the house might have burnt down.
So Stewart, being a bonehead, thought hard about how she could prove to her husband just how serious this problem is. So to prevent her house from being burned down so carelessly she put a lit cigarette on the bed the next day and left the house just to show her husband what could happen.
About the only thing Stewart had left after that was the satisfaction of saying "I told you so" because the house completely burned down. Which was a relief now that she could show her husband the error of his way so that he doesn't burn down the house.
She was arrested for arson. Of course if she convinces herself that she was just trying to show what happens to people who purposely burn down houses then I guess it may have been the right thing to do, to her way of thinking. Or maybe not. Does anyone understand this woman?

Pulling eyes out? Half the job!

HOUSTON (AP) -- A Texas death row inmate with a history of mental problems pulled out his only good eye and told authorities he ate it. Andre Thomas, 25, was arrested for the fatal stabbings of his estranged wife, their young son and her 13-month-old daughter in March 2004. Their hearts also had been ripped out. He was convicted and condemned for the infant's death.
While in the Grayson County Jail in Sherman, Thomas plucked out his right eye before his trial later in 2004. A judge subsequently ruled he was competent to stand trial.
A death-row officer at the Polunsky Unit of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice found Thomas in his cell with blood on his face and took him to the

infirmary.
"Thomas said he pulled out his eye and subsequently ingested it," agency spokesman Jason Clark said Friday.

Thomas was treated at East Texas Medical Center in Tyler after the Dec. 9 incident. Then he was transferred and remains at the Jester Unit, a prison psychiatric facility near Richmond southwest of Houston.
"He will finally be able to receive the mental health care that we had wanted and begged for from day 1," Bobbie Peterson-Cate, Thomas' trial attorney, told the Sherman Herald Democrat. "He is insane and mentally ill. It is exactly the same reason he pulled out the last one."
At his trial, defense lawyers also argued he suffered from alcohol and drug abuse.
Thomas does not have an execution date.
The Texas Court of Criminal Appeals in October upheld his conviction and death sentence for the death of 13-month-old Leyha Marie Hughes. Also killed March 27, 2004, were his wife, Laura Christine Boren, 20, and their son, 4-year-old Andre Lee.
Thomas, from Texoma, walked into the Sherman Police Department and told a dispatcher he had just murdered the three and had stabbed himself in the chest.
Thomas told police how he put his victims' hearts in his pocket and left their apartment, took them home, put them in a plastic bag and threw them in the trash.
Court documents described the three victims as having "large, gaping wounds to their chests."

I love hedgehogs as well

A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after he had sex with a hedgehog on a witchdoctor's advice. Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, says the witchdoctor told him it would cure his premature ejaculation. But he ended up in an operating theatre after the hedgehog's needles left his penis severely lacerated. A hospital spokesman said: "The animal was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. We have managed to repair the damage to his penis."